Interesting Mail Forwards

Here are some sayings from School.....smile!


Teacher: 'What is your name?'
Student: 'Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.'
Teacher: 'When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.'
Student: 'My name is Sunlight.


Teacher: 'What is your name?'.
Student: 'My name is Beautiful Red Underwear'
Teacher: 'What kind of a name is this? Don't joke tell me the right name'
Student: 'My name is Sunderlal Chadda."


Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhiji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.


Teacher: What is the full form of maths?
Student: Mentally affected teachers harassing students


Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
Student: BROTHERLY LOVE


Teacher: Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August?
Student: A holiday


Teacher: 'Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? '
Johnny: 'Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.'


Teacher:How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)


Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs3/kg...Then, what is my age?
Student: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.


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Samsung Electronics


Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.


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RAC Motoring Services


Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator:&nbsap; ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'


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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'


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Directory Enquiries


Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.


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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.


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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.


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Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.


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Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
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Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.


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There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.


Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!

276 QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE YOU MARRY


WORK

1. Are you working on your chosen field?

2. How many hours a week do you work?

3. What does your job entail? (For example, do you often travel for business, work at home, performs dangerous tasks?)

4. What is your dream job?

5. Have you ever been called a workaholic?

6. What is your retirement plan? What do you plan to do when you stop working?

7. Have you ever been fired?

8. Have you ever quit a job suddenly? Have you changed jobs a lot?

9. Do you consider your work a career or just a job?

10. Has your work ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?


HOME

11. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

12. Do you prefer urban, suburban, or rural settings?

13. Is it important to have your own private home, or do you prefer apartment or condo living, with a management company responsible for the maintenance? Are you a do-it yourselfer, or would you rather hire professionals? Do you prefer to clean your own home or hire a housekeeper?

14. Do you think of your home as a cocoon, or is your door always open? What do you need to feel energized and inspired in your home?

15. Is quiet important in your home, or do you prefer having music or some background noise most of the time? Is it important to have a TV in the bedroom? Living room? Kitchen? Do you like to sleep with the TV or radio on?

16. How important is it for you to have a space in your home that is yours alone?

17. Have differences about home style ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

18. If you had unlimited resources, how would you live?

19. How important is it for you to make a lot of money?

20. What is your annual income?

21. Do you pay alimony or child support?

22 Do you believe in prenuptial agreements? Under what circumstances?

23. Do you believe in establishing a family budget?

24. Should individuals within a marriage have separate bank accounts in addition to joint accounts? Do you feel that bills should be divided based on a percentage of each person's salary?

25. Who should handle the finances in your family?

26. Do you have significant debts?

27. Do you gamble?

28. Did you have a paying job when you were in high school? Before high school?

29. Have you ever been called cheap or stingy?

30. Do you believe that a certain amount of money should be set aside for pleasure, even if you�re on a tight budget?

31. Have you ever used money as a way of controlling a relationship? Has anyone ever tried to control you with money?

32. Has money ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?


RELATIONSHIP HISTORY

33. Have you ever felt deeply insecure in a relationship? Were you able to name your fear?

34. When was the first time you felt that you were in love with another person? What happened in that relationship, and how have you come to terms with it?

35. What is the longest relationship you have ever had prior to this one? Why did it end, and what lesson did you learn?

36. Have you ever been married? If so, are you divorced or widowed? How do you think you handled the loss?

37. If you have a current partner, do they know of behaviors that you exhibited in your previous relationship that you�re not proud of?

36. Do you believe that past relationships should be left in the past and not talked about in your current relationship?

39. Do you tend to judge current partners on past relationships?

40. Have you ever sought marriage counseling? What did the experience teach you?

41. Do you have children from previous marriages or non-marital relationships? What is your relationship with them? How do you see your relationship with them in the future?

42. Have you ever been engaged to be married but didn�t go through with the wedding?

43. Have you ever had a live-in partner? Why did you choose to live together instead of marrying? What did your experience teach you about the importance of marriage and about commitment?

44. Do you harbor fears that the person you love might reject you or fail out of love with you?


SEX

45. What sexual activities do you enjoy the most? Are there specific sexual acts that make you uncomfortable? Be specific! This is no time to hedge.

46. Do you feel comfortable initiating sex? If yes, why? If no, why?

47. What do you need in order to be in the mood for sex?

48. Have you ever been sexually abused or assaulted?

48. What was the attitude toward sex in your family? Was it talked about? Who taught you about sex?

50. Do you use sex to self-medicate? If something upsets you, do you use sex to try and help you feel better?

51. Have you ever felt forced to have sex to �keep the peace�? Have you ever forced someone or been told that you forced someone to have sex with you to �keep the peace�?

52. Is sexual fidelity an absolute necessity in a good marriage?

53. Do you enjoy viewing pornography?

54. How often do you need or expect sex?

55. Have you ever a sexual relationship with a person of the same sex?

56. Has sexual dissatisfaction ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?


HEALTH

57. How would you describe the current state of your health?

58. Have you ever had a serious illness? Have you ever had surgery?

58. Do you believe it is a sacred responsibility to take care of yourself? Do you believe that taking care of your physical and mental health is a part of honoring your marriage vows?

60. Are there genetic diseases in your family or a history of cancer, heart disease, or chronic illness?

61. Do you have health insurance? Dental insurance?

62. Do you belong to a gym? If so, how much time do you spend at the gym every week?

63. Do you play sports or take exercise classes?

64. Have you ever been in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship?

65. Have you ever suffered from an eating disorder?

66. Have you ever been in a serious accident?

67. Do you take medication?

68. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted disease?

P.. Have you ever been treated for a mental disorder?

70. Do you see a therapist?

71. Do you smoke, or have you ever smoked?

72. Do you consider yourself an addictive personality, and have you ever suffered from an addiction? Have you ever been told you have an addiction problem, even though you might disagree?

73. How much alcohol do you drink every week?

74. Do you use recreational drugs?

75. Do you have a medical problem that impacts your ability to have a satisfying sex life (for example, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, vaginal dryness, drug/alcohol addiction, etc)?

76. Have any of these health problems ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?


APPEARANCE

77. How important is it that you always look your best?

78. How important is your spouse�s appearance? Do you have strong preferences about being with a particular physical �type�?

70. Are there cosmetic procedures that you regularly undergo?

80. Is weight control important to you? Is your spouse�s weight important to you? What would your reaction be if your partner were to gain a significant amount of weight?

81. How much money do you spend on clothing every year?

82. Do you worry about getting old? Do you worry about losing your looks?

83. What do you like and dislike about your appearance? When you were a child, were you often complimented or shamed about your looks?

84. What would your reaction be if your spouse lost a limb? A breast? How would you handle this loss?

85. Do you feel that you can have good chemistry with someone who is moderately physically attractive to you, or is a strong physical attraction necessary? Has physical appearance or �chemistry� ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?


PARENTHOOD

86. Do you want children? When? How many? Are you unable to have children?

87. Would you feel unfulfilled if you were unable to have children?

88. Who is responsible for birth control? What would you do if there were an accidental pregnancy before you planned to have children?

88. What is your view of fertility treatments? Adoption? Would you adopt if you were unable to have a child naturally?

90. What is your view of abortion? Should a husband have an equal say in whether his wife has an abortion? Have you ever had an abortion?

91. Have you ever given birth to a child or fathered a child who was put up for adoption?

92. How important is it to you that your children are raised near your extended family?

93. Do you believe that a good mother will want to breast-feed her baby? Do you believe a mother or father should stay at home with a child during the first six months of life? The first year? Longer?

94. Do you believe in spanking a child? What type of discipline do you believe in (time-out, standing in the corner, taking away privileges, etc.)?

95. Do you believe that children have rights? Do you feel that a child�s opinion should be considered when making family and life decisions, such as moving or changing schools?

96. Do you believe that children should be raised with some religious or spiritual foundation?

97. Should boys be treated the same as girls? Should they have the same rules for conduct? Should you have the same expectations for their sexual behavior?

96. Would you put your teenage daughter on birth control if you knew that she was sexually active?

97. How would you handle it if you didn�t like your child�s friends?

98. Would you put your teenage daughter on birth control if you knew that she was sexually active?

99. How would you handle it if you didn't like your child's friends?

100. In a blended family; should birth parents be in charge of making decisions for their own children?

101. Would you ever consider getting a vasectomy or having your tubes tied? Do you believe it�s your choice, or does your partner have a say?

102. Have differences concerning conception or child-raising ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?


EXTENDED FAMILIES

103. Are you close to your family?

104. Are you or have you ever been alienated from your family?

105. Do you have a difficult time setting limits with family?

106. Have you identified the childhood wound that may have sabotaged your relationships in the past�the deeply imprinted fear that made you want to escape? How were you most hurt in your family; and who hurt you?

107. How important is it that you and your partner be on good terms with each other�s families?

106. How did your parents settle conflicts when you were a child? Do people in your family carry long-term grudges?

109. How much influence do your parents still have over your decisions?

110. Have unresolved or ongoing family issues ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?


FRIENDS

FRIENDS

111. Do you have a �best friend�?

112. Do you see a close friend or friends at least once a week? Do you speak to any of your friends on the phone every day?

113. Are your friendships as Important to you as your life partner is?

114. If your friends need you, are you there for them?

115. Is it important to you for your partner to accept and like your friends?

116. Is it important that you and your partner have friends in common?

117. Do you have a difficult time setting limits with friends?

118. Has a partner ever been responsible for breaking up a friendship? Have friends ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?


PETS

119. Are you an animal lover?

120. Do you have a dog, cat, or other beloved pet?

121. Is your attitude �Love me, love my dog [cat; potbellied pig]?�

122. Have you ever been physically aggressive with an animal? Have you deliberately hurt an animal?

123. Do you believe a person should give up his or her pet if it interferes with the relationship?

124. Do you consider pets members of your family?

125. Have you ever been jealous of a partner�s relationship with a pet?

126. Have disagreements about pets ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?


POLITICS

127. Do you consider yourself liberal, moderate, or conservatives, or do you reject political labels? What was the attitude in your family about political involvement and social action?

128. Do you belong to a political party? Are you actively involved?

128. Did you vote in the last presidential election? Congressional election? Local election?

130. Do you believe that two people of differing political ideologies can have a successful marriage?

131. Do you believe that the political system is skewed against people of color, poor people, and the disenfranchised?

132. Which political issues do you care about? (For example, equality national security, privacy, the environment, the budget; women�s rights, gay rights, human rights, etc.).

133. Has politics ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?


COMMUNITY

134. Is it important for you to be involved in your local community?

135. Do you like having a close relationship with your neighbors? For example, would you give a neighbor a spare key to your home?

136. Do you regularly participate in community projects?

137. Do you believe that good fences make good neighbors?

138. Have you ever had a serious dispute with a neighbor?

139. Do you take pains to be considerate of your neighbors (for example, keeping a lid on loud music, barking dogs, etc.)?


CHARITY

140. How important is it to you to contribute time or money to charity?

141. Which kind of charities do you like to support? How much of your annual income do you donate to charity?

142. Do you feel that it is the responsibility of the �haves� of the world to help the �have-nots�?

143. Have attitudes about charitable contributions ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?


MILITARY

144. Have you served in the military?

145. Have your parents or other relatives served in the military?

146. Would you want your children to serve in the military?

147. Do you personally identify more with a nonviolent approach, or with making change through military force and action?

148. Has military service or attitudes about military service ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?


THE LAW

149. Do you consider yourself a law-abiding person?

150. Have you ever committed a crime? If yes, what was it?

151. Have you ever been arrested? If yes, for what?

152. Have you ever been in jail? If yes, why?

153. Have you ever been involved in a legal action or lawsuit? If yes, what were the circumstances?

154. Have you ever been the victim of a violent crime? If yes, describe what happened.

156. Do you believe it�s important to be rigorously honest when you pay taxes?

156. Have you ever failed to pay child support? If so, why?

157. Have legal or criminal issues ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?


MEDIA

158. Where do you get your news (for example, TV news programs, radio, newspapers, newsmagazines, the Internet, friends)?

159. Do you believe what you read and see in the news, or do you question where information is coming from and what the true agenda is?

100. Do you seek out media with diverse perspectives on the news?

161. Have media differences ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?


RELIGION

162. Do you believe in God? What does that mean to you?

163. Do you have a current religious affiliation? Is it a big part of your life?

164. When you were growing up, did your family belong to a church, synagogue, temple, or mosque?

185. Do you currently practice a different religion from the one in which you were raised?

166. Do you believe in life after death?

167. Does your religion impose any behavioral restrictions (dietary, social, familial, sexual) that would affect your partner?

168. Do you consider yourself a religious person? A spiritual person?

169. Do you engage in spiritual practices outside of organized religion?

170. How important is it to you for your partner to share your religious beliefs?

171. How important is it to you for your children to be raised in your religion?

172. Is spirituality a part of your daily life and practice?

173. Has religion or spiritual practice ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?


CULTURE

174. Does popular culture have an important impact on your life?

175. Do you spend time reading about, watching, or discussing actors, musicians, models, or other celebrities?

176. Do you think most celebrities have a better, more exciting life than you do? (By the way, if they do, maybe it's because they are living their lives, while you are watching them live their lives. Are you wasting the opportunity and gift to live your own life?)

177. Do you regularly go to the movies, or do you prefer to rent movies and watch them at home?

178. What is your favorite style of music?

179. Do you attend concerts featuring your favorite musicians?

180. Do you enjoy going to museums or art shows?

181. Do you like to dance?

182. Do you like to watch TV for entertainment?

183. Have attitudes or behaviors around popular culture ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?


LEISURE

184. What is your idea of a fun day?

185. Do you have a hobby that�s important to you?

186. Do you enjoy spectator sports?

187. Are certain seasons off-limits for other activities because of football, baseball, basketball, or other sports?

168. What activities do you enjoy that don�t involve your partner? How important is it to you that you and your partner enjoy the same leisure activities?

189. How much money do you regularly spend on leisure activities?

190. Do you enjoy activities that might make your partner uncomfortable, such as hanging out in bars drinking, going to strip clubs, or gambling?

191. Have leisure time issues ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

192. Do you enjoy entertaining, or do you worry that you�ll do something wrong or people won�t have a good time?

193. Is it important for you to attend social events regularly, or does the prospect rarely appeal to you?

194. Do you look forward to at least one night out every week, or do you prefer to enjoy yourself at home?

195. Does your work involve attending social functions? If so, are these occasions a burden or a pleasure? Do you expect your spouse to be present, or do you prefer that your spouse not be present?

196. Do you socialize primarily with people from work, or with people from the same ethnic/racial/religious/ socioeconomic background? Or do you socialize with a diverse mix of people?

197. Are you usually the �life of the party," or do you dislike being singled out for attention?

198. Have you or a partner ever had an argument caused by one or the other�s behavior at a social function?

199. Have differences about socializing ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?


HOLIDAY AND BIRTHDAYS

286. Which (if any holidays do you believe are the most important to celebrate?

201. Do you maintain a family tradition around certain holidays?

202. How important are birthday celebrations to you? Anniversaries?

203. Have differences about holidays/birthdays ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?


TRAVEL / VACATIONS

204. Do you enjoy traveling, or are you a homebody?

205. Are vacation getaways an important part of your yearly planning?

206. How much of your annual income do you designate for vacation and travel expenses?

207. Do you have favorite vacation destinations? Do you believe it's wasteful to spend money on vacations to distant places?

206. Do you think it's important to have a passport? To speak a foreign language?

209. Have disputes about travel and vacation ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?


EDUCATION

210. What is your level of formal education? Is your education a source of pride or shame?

211. Do you regularly sign up for courses that interest you, or enroll in advanced-learning programs that will help you in your career or profession?

212. Do you think that college graduates are smarter than people who didn�t attend college? Have disparities in education ever been a source of tension for you in a relationship, or ended a relationship?

213. How do you feel about private school education for children? Do you have a limit on how much you would be willing to invest in private school education?

214. Have education levels or priorities ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?


TRANSPORTATION

215. Do you own or lease a car? Would you ever consider not having a car?

216. Is the year, make, and model of the car you drive important to you? Is your car your �castle�?

217. Are fuel efficiency and environmental protection factors when you choose a car?

218. Given the availability of reliable public transportation, would you prefer not to drive a car at all?

219. How much time do you spend maintaining and caring for your vehicle? Are you reluctant to let others drive your car?

220. How long is your daily commute? Is it by bus, train, car, or carpool?

221. Do you consider yourself a good driver? Have you ever received a speeding ticket?

222. Have cars or driving ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?


COMMUNICATION

223. How much time do you spend on the phone every day?

224. Do you have a cell phone? A BlackBerry?

225. Do you belong to any Internet chat groups? Do you spend significant time each day writing c-mails?

226. Do you have an unlisted telephone number? If yes, why?

227. Do you consider yourself a communicator or a private person?

228. What are the circumstances under which you would not answer the telephone, cell phone, or BlackBerry?

229. Has modem communication ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?


MEALTIME

230. Do you like to eat most of your meals sitting at the table, or do you tend to eat on the run?

231. Do you love to cook? Do you love to eat? 232. When you were growing up, was it important that everybody be present for dinner?

233. Do you follow a specific diet regimen that limits your food choices? Do you expect others in your household to adhere to certain dietary restrictions?

234. In your family is food ever used as a bribe or a proof of love?

235. Has eating ever been a source of shame for you?

236. Have eating and food ever been a source of tension and stress in a relationship? Have they ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?


GENDER ROLE

237. Are there household responsibilities you believe to be the sole domain of a man or a woman? Why do you believe this?

238. Do you believe that marriages are stronger if a woman defers to her husband in most areas? Do you need to feel either in control or taken care of?

239. How important is equality in a marriage? Define what you mean by �equality.�

340. Do you believe that roles in your family should be filled by the person best equipped for the job, even if it is an unconventional arrangement?

341. How did your family view the roles of girls and boys, men and women? In your family; could anyone do any job as long as it got done well?

242. Have different ideas about gender roles ever been a source of tension for you in a relationship, or the cause of a breakup?


RACE, ETHNICITY, AND DIFFERENCES

243. What did you learn about race and ethnic differences as a child?

244. Which of those beliefs from childhood do you still carry; and which have you shed?

245. Does your work environment look more like the United Nations, or like a mirror of yourself? How about your personal life?

246. How would you feel if your child dated someone of a different race or ethnicity? The same gender? How would you feel if he or she married this person?

247. Are you aware of your own biases regarding race and ethnicity? What are they? Where did they come from? (We aren�t born biased, we learn it, and it�s important to trace where it was learned.)

248. Have race, ethnicity, and differences ever been a source of tension and stress for you in a relationship?

249. What were your family�s views of race, ethnicity, and difference?

250. Is it important to you that your partner shares your vision of race, ethnicity, and difference?

251. Have different ideas about race, ethnicity~ and difference ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?


LIVING EVERY DAY

252. Would you consider yourself a morning person or a night person?

213. Do you judge people who have a different waking and sleeping clock than you?

254 Are you a physically affectionate person?

255. What is your favorite season of the year?

256. When you disagree with your partner, do you tend to fight or withdraw?

257. What is your idea of a fair division of labor in your household?

258. Do you consider yourself an easygoing person, or are you most comfortable with a firm plan of action?

256. How much sleep do you need every night?

260. Do you like to be freshly showered and wearing clean clothes every day, even on weekends or vacations?

261. What is your idea of perfect relaxation?

262. What makes you really angry? What do you do when you�re really angry?

263. What makes you most joyful? What do you do when you are joyful?

264. What makes you most insecure? How do you handle your insecurities?

265. What makes you most secure?

266. Do you fight fair? How do you know?

267. How do you celebrate when something great happens? How do you mourn when something tragic happens?

268. What is your greatest limitation?

269. What is your greatest strength?

270. What most stands in the way of your creating a passionate and caring marriage?

271. What do you need to do today to move toward making your dream marriage a reality?

272. What makes you most afraid?

273. What drains you of your joy and passion?

274. What replenishes your mind, body, and spirit?

275. What makes your heart smile in tough times?

276. What makes you feel the most alive?

Labels: choice, life, marriage, questions

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Then unexpectedly, a sinister thought entered his mind. Why should the other man alone experience all the pleasures of seeing everything while he himself never got to see anything? It didn't seem fair. At first thought the man felt ashamed. But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights, his envy eroded into resentment and soon turned him sour. He began to brood and he found himself unable to sleep. He should be by that window -- that thought, and only that thought now controlled his life.

Late one night as he lay staring at the ceiling, the man by the window began to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs. The other man watched in the dimly lit room as the struggling man by the window groped for the button to call for help. Listening from across the room he never moved, never pushed his own button which would have brought the nurse running in. In less than five minutes the coughing and choking stopped, along with that the sound of breathing.

Now there was only silence-deathly silence. The following morning the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths. When she found the lifeless body of the man by the window, she was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take it away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate since he had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue. . . .

You can interpret the story in any way you like. But one moral stands out: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can't buy.

Author Unknown

A young second generation Indian in the US was asked
by his mother to
explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger
brother, this is
how he went about it...
 " So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom
and
people liked
him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind
of a bitch, and
she forced her husband to, like, send this
cool-dude,
he was Ram, to
some national forest or something... Since he was
going, for like,
something like more than 10 years or so.. he decided
to get his wife
and his bro along... you know...so that they could
all
chill out
together. But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary
shit... really man...
they had monkeys and devils and shit like that. But
this dude, Ram,
kicked with darts and bows and arrows... so it was
fine.
 But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called
Ravan, picks up his
babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy,
was our man, and
also his bro, Laxman, pissed..... all the gods were
with him... So
anyways,you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his
bro
get an army of
monkeys.. Dude, don't ask me how they trained the
damn
monkeys... just
go along with me, ok... ..
 so, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's
ass
in his own
hood. Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the
forest..and
anyways...it gets kinda boring,you know... no TV or
malls or shit like
that. So,they decided to hitch a ride back home...
and
when the people
realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back
home... they
thought, well, you know, at least they deserve
something nice... and
they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days...
so
they couldn't
take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to
smoke and
shit...and since they also had some lamps, they lit
the lamps also...
so it was pretty cooool... you know with all those
fireworks...
Really, they even had some local band play along
with
the fireworks...
and you know, what, dude, that was the very first,
no
kidding.., that
was the very first music-synchronized fireworks...
you
know, like the
4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff,
you know. And, so
dude, that was how, like, this festival started."

The longest English word and other curious words

The longest English word: The question of determining the longest
English word inevitably boils down to defining what is acceptable as a
word, since prefixes/suffixes can be adjoined to words to make longer
words and because medical/chemical terms can get arbitrarily long.

Further, most contenders for the honor of being the longest word are
likely to be very rare in actual usage - so rare, in fact that they
could be considered nonce words. The most common candidates for the
crown, in my opinion, are

antidisestablishmentarianism (28 letters),
floccinaucinihilipilification (29 letters) and
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis (45 letters).

The first is the only one of the three that was not specifically
constructed for the purpose of being a very long word. It means
opposition to the separation of church and state. The second, meaning
the estimation of something as worthless, is the longest non-technical
word in the OED. The latter, supposedly a lung disease, appears to be
a semi-serious concoction.

Lexically interesting words. .
 Longest word without a vowel: symphysy.
Runners-up: nymphly,
rhythms, gypsyfy, gypsyry. Excluding 'y': crwths.
 Longest word with at most 1 vowel: glycyphyllin, psychorhythm.
 Word with most vowels: counterrevolutionaries (among others).
 Word with most consecutive vowels (5): cooeeing, miaoued, miaouing,
queueing. (Euouae, consisting of nothing but 6 vowels, is of doubtful
legitimacy.)
 Smallest word with all 5 vowels: eulogia, miaoued, sequoia.
 Longest word with only 3 distinct alphabets: seeresses.
 Longest word with only 4 distinct alphabets: senselessness.
 Longest word with no repeated letter: dermatoglyphics.
 Longest word with letters in alphabetical order: aegilops.
 Longest word with letters in reverse alphabetical order: trollied.
 Longest word that can be typed with the right hand alone (on a
qwerty keyboard): phyllophyllin.
 Longest word that can be typed with the left hand alone (on a
qwerty keyboard): devertebrated.
 Longest word that can be typed using the top row (of a qwerty
keyboard): rupturewort. Runners-up: peppertree, pepperwort,
perpetuity, proprietor, repertoire, tetterwort, typewriter.
 Interesting words with the substring 'uu': continuum, fatuus,
menstruum, residiuum, vacuum.
 Word with the maximum number of distinct alphabets (16):
blepharoconjunctivitis, formaldehydesulphoxylic,
pneumoventriculography, pseudolamellibranchiate, superacknowledgment.
 Word with most a's (6): astragalocalcaneal, calcaneoastragalar,
taramasalata.
 Word with most e's (7): electrotelethermometer.
 Word with most i's (6): impossibilification, indistinguishability,
indivisibility, minimifidianism, pericardiomediastinitis.
 Word with most o's (6): choledochoduodenostomy,
duodenocholedochotomy, monogonoporous, odontonosology,
proctocolonoscopy, pseudomonocotyledonous, zoologicoarchaeologist.
 Word with most u's (5): untumultous.
 Words with four consecutive letters of the alphabet appearing
consecutively:
    mnop: cremnophobia, gymnopaedic, gymnoplast, limnophile,
somnopathy (and a few others).
    rstu: overstudy, overstuff, understudy, afterstudy,
overstudious, superstuff, understuff (and a few others).

    Words with four consecutive letters of the alphabet appearing
consecutively in reverse order:
       ponm: tamponment, weaponmaker.

       Words with 3 consecutive s's: bossship, headmistressship,
patronessship.
       The last word: zyzzyva.

YOU MAY KNOW THESE WORDS !
TYPEWRITER (10 letters) can be typed using only the top row of keys on
a standard keyboard.

FICKLEHEADED and FIDDLEDEEDEE are the longest English words consisting
only of letters in the first half of the alphabet, each being 12
letters long.

PARADIGM was the word most frequently looked up in 1998 in the
Merriam-Webster online dictionary.

The words most likely to be misspelled (ratio of incorrect to correct
spelling) according to a study of Usenet traffic some years ago were
DUMBELL, OCCURRENCE, MEMENTO, FRUSTUM, COLLECTIBLE, AMATEUR, DAIQUIRI,
PASTIME, ACCIDENTALLY, PLAYWRIGHT, EMBARRASS, ACQUIT, HARASS, and
PRONUNCIATION.

HIRSCHSPRUNG'S (DISEASE) has seven consecutive consonants, as does
SCHTSCHUROWSKIA.

Beijing and Fiji have three dotted letters in a row.

The alphabetical sequence -RSTU- is contained in OVERSTUFF,
OVERSTUDIOUS, OVERSTUNK, UNDERSTUFF, UNDERSTUMBLE, SUPERSTUD,
OVERSTUMBLE, SUPERSTUFF, UNDERSTUDY, and BIERSTUBE.
The only other four-letter alphabetical sequence found in English is
-MNOP-, which is found, for example, in these words: CREMNOPHOBIA,
GYMNOPAEDIC, GYMNOPHOBIA, GYMNOPLAST, LIMNOPHILE, LIMNOPHORA,
LIMNOPHORID, LIMNOPLANKTON, SEMNOPITHECINE, SOMNOPATHY, and
THAMNOPHILE.
If the alphabet is treated as a continuous loop, however, there is
also -YZAB- in ANALYZABLE.
Here are some examples words containing double letters, for each
letter of the alphabet: AARDVARK, ABBOT, ACCENT, ADD, FEED, OFF, EGG,
WITHHOLD, SKIING, AVIJJA, BOOKKEEPER, ILL, IMMUNE, ANNOY, HOOP, APPLE,
HUQQA, ARRAY, KISS, LITTLE, VACUUM, SAVVY, SLOWWORM, WAXXENN,
CUBBYYEW, and DAZZLE.
HONORIFICABILITUDINITATIBUS is the longest word consisting entirely of
alternating vowels and consonants.
The longest common word without any of the five vowels is RHYTHMS.
The shortest word containing all five vowels exactly once is the
six-letter EUNOIA, meaning alertness of mind an will (and also the
title of a book by Canadian poet Christian Bok).
The shortest word with the five vowels occurring in alphabetical order
is AERIOUS (airy), which has seven letters. The longest such word is
PHRAGELLIORHYNCHUS (a protozoan) with 18 letters.
ULTRAREVOLUTIONARIES has each vowel exactly twice. The shortest such
word is CUBOIDEONAVICULARE, and the longest, USSOLZEWIECHINOGAMMARUS
(a small crustacean).
Some English words..................

Floccinaucinihilipilification
It means "the estimation of something as worthless."
Examples:
I loved him for nothing so much as his floccinaucinihilipilification of
money.
--William Shenstone, Letters

Some more english words:
They must be taken with an air of contempt, a
floccinaucinihilipilification of all that can gratify the outward man.
--Sir Walter Scott, Journal

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis which has 45 letters.
It's a disease that miners in Africa came down with from getting
silicon slivers in their lungs.

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, a village
in Wales. This name is given in full on the railway station. The local
people do not bother to say the name in full. They refer to it as
Lannfair PG.
However, there is a place with an even longer name in New Zealand. It
is the name of a hill. Here it is: This is not in English though but
in Maori
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiw
en uaitnatahu.
But if you just want long words, the usual response is
antidisestablishmentarianism, and this can be found in most
dictionaries.

The longest word in the dictionary containing no letter more than once
is "smiley." (There is a mile between the first and last letter.)

Chemical name for the "Tryptophan Synthetase" protein  is however, the
longest official word ever (1,913 letters) with the formula
C1289H2051N343O375S8

And it is spelled:


methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylserylleucylphenylalany
lalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyllysylglutamylglycylalany
lphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanylvalylthreonylleucylglycylaspa
rtylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleu
cylaspartylthreonylleucylisoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspar
tylalanylleucylglutamylleucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylser
ylaspartylprolylleucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonyliso
leucylglutaminylaspfraginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylpheny
lalanylalanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcyste
inylphenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylargin
ylglutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucylgl
ycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalylpheny
lalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamylphenylalany
ltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalylglycylva
lylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalylprolylvalylglu
taminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanylarginylglutaminylalan
ylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginylvalylalanylprolylisoleucy
lphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolylprolylaspartylalanylaspartyl
aspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginylglutaminylisoleucylalanylseryl
tyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosylthreonyltyrosylleucylleucylseryl
arginylalanylglycylvalylthreonylglycylalanylglutamylasparag
inylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolylleucylasparaginylhistidylleucy
lvalylalanyllysylleucyllysylglutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalany
lprolylprolylleucylglutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylser
ylalanylprolylaspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylas
partylalanylglycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylser
ylalanylisoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhi
stidylasparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethio
nylleucylalanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylp
rolylmethionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine.
Thats all for now

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to
three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, The parrot on the
left costs 500 dollars " "Why does the parrot cost so much,? asks the
man.

The shop owner says Well, the parrot knows how to use a computer."

The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs
1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus
worked on the J2EE/Struts & UNIX operating system.

Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third Parrot to
be told that it costs 5,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the
question

"What can it do? to which the shop owner replies, "To be honest I have
never seen it do a thing, but the other two call him boss!"

Address: Ephesians 1:20

Phone: Romans 10:13

Website: The Bible. 

Keywords: Christ, Lord, Savior and Jesus.


Hello.  My name is Jesus -The Christ.  Many call me Lord!  I've sent
you my resume because I'm seeking the top management position in your
heart.

Please consider my accomplishments as set forth in my resume.


Qualifications

* I founded the earth and established the heavens, (See Proverbs 3:19)

* I formed man from the dust of the ground, (See Genesis 2:7)

* I breathed into man the breath of life, (See Genesis 2:7)

* I redeemed man from the curse of the law, (See Galatians 3:13)

* The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant comes upon your life through
me, (See Galatians 3:14) Occupational Background

* I've only had one employer, (See Luke 2:49).

* I've never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or
disrespectful.

* My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me, (See Matthew
3:15-17)


Skills Work Experiences

* Some of my skills and work experiences include: empowering the poor
to be poor no more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the captives
free, healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting at
liberty them that are bruised, (See Luke 4:18).

* I am a Wonderful Counselor, (See Isaiah 9:6).  People who listen to
me shall dwell safely and shall not fear evil, (See Proverbs 1:33).

* Most importantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse
you of your sins, (See I John 1:7-9)


Educational Background

* I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and
understanding, (See Proverbs 2:6).

* In me are hid all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, (See
Colossians 2:3).

* My Word is so powerful; it has been described as being a lamp unto
your feet and a lamp unto your path, (See Psalms 119:105).

* I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart, (See Psalms
44:21).


Major Accomplishments

* I was an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all
times, (See Genesis 1:26).
* I laid down my life so that you may live, (See II Corinthians 5:15).

* I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind and made a show of them
openly, (See Colossians 2:15).

* I've miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick and raised the dead!

* There are many more major accomplishments, too many to mention here.
You can read them on my website, which is located at: www dot - the
BIBLE.  You don't need an Internet connection or computer to access my
website.


References

* Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine
healings, salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and
supernatural guidance


In Summation

Now that you've read my resume, I'm confident that I'm the only
candidate uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your
heart.

In summation, I will properly direct your paths, (See Proverbs 3:5-6),
and lead you into everlasting life, (See John 6:47). When can I start?

Time is of the essence, (See Hebrews 3:15).  Send this resume to
everyone you know, you never know who may have an opening! 


Thanks for your help and may God bless you!

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls his grandson to his bed.

"You lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver

so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. Howzabout you leava me your

Rolex watch instead."

"Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business, you gonna

have lotsa money, a biga home, a beautifula wife and maybe a couple a

bambinos. Somma day you gonna coma home and maybe find you wife inna

bed with another man.

"Whadda you gonna do then...... pointa to your watch and a say, Time’s Up?"